Laura Wayman, an author and gerontology expert, introduced a “loving approach” to dementia care at the Farmstead at Dixon senior living facility. Photo by Debra Dingman

DIXON, CA (MPG) – If you have noticed an increase in episodes of not being able to remember things, and not necessarily a person’s name, place or where you put your phone, you might be concerned that it isn’t just aging.

The senior living facility, Farmstead at Dixon, 350 Gateway Drive, held a presentation on caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia by Laura Wayman, an author and dedicated gerontologist. 

Dementia is a group of symptoms and is the first sign of Alzheimer’s, which is a disease of the brain that affects language, reasoning, balance and coordination, and creates processing challenges.

“People aged 65 have a 50% chance of having some dementia,” Wayman said. “It is not an illness, a disease or condition but it is manageable. Until you’re in it, you have no idea how difficult it is.”

Wayman shared her story about her parents who were farmers and lived a long distance away from family. Her mother kept telling the family that she was fine and that she was taking care of their father. But there was no help or relief around so eventually she became exhausted and one night at dinner died of a massive heart attack. The well- cared-for husband wandered outside and no one knew what had happened.

So Wayman’s first advice to care providers was “You must build your village. The loss is so slow. For Alzheimer’s, it can be two to 20 years. The more you understand early, the more you can plan. Do not shy away from asking for help and ask for it early.” 

“It’s not about memory loss,” Wayman said. “It’s about the ability to process and understand.”

She showed slides of a human brain both healthy and then with dementia. The brain with dementia begins to look like Swiss cheese and ultimate shrivels to a small wad of tissue.

“They lose gray matter, robbing them of the ability to learn. They can’t concentrate or communicate because they cannot process,” Wayman said.

Wayman gave the example of being in front of someone asking what they want for dinner or if they want to go outside. The person cannot understand what is being said so to them, Wayman said, it sounds like “blah-blah-blah.” The person often becomes angry, confused, obstinate and even mean.

“If someone came at you and you couldn’t understand them, you would want them to go away. They’d be anxious and confused. Remember there is a hole in their brain,” she said.

“Facts are not real to them anymore and feelings are the only thing that’s real,” Wayman continued. “The caregiver has to be the one to make decisions; they cannot. But if a care provider talks to their feelings, they can direct them.”

Looking at their photos or recalling their favorite meal, dress, birthday or other experience helps the caregiver guide them to a dining table or bedroom or outdoors, for example.

“Memories are their security valve,” Wayman said. “Don’t say ‘remember…;’ just reminisce. Never lecture, say ‘I told you,’ shame, argue or condescend.”

For more information, see Wayman’s book, “A Loving Approach to Dementia Care,” or call the Farmstead at Dixon at 707-676-5060.

According to the California Department of Health, one in nine people aged 65-plus are living with Alzheimer’s disease or related dementia and an early diagnosis of dementia provides a range of benefits for the individuals. It eventually destroys the brain. It is not a normal part of aging. Early diagnosis can help to delay or reverse the onset of the disease.

A warning sign of Alzheimer’s disease includes memory loss that disrupts life, such as forgetting new information and important dates or asking repeatedly the same information. Another sign is changes in planning or solving problems and difficulty following a plan or forgetting familiar recipes or difficulty tracking monthly bills or counting change. Other signs include forgetting how to drive to a familiar location, challenges balancing a budget, forgetting the rules to a favorite game, and difficulty reading or judging distance.